UNEDITED:
I don't even know where to start. Sorrow, depression,
dejection, resignation etc, all now knows me by name. The love is dead, I
loath her for the betrayal, sex is dead, joy gone. It's been 8 months
since I made the startling discovery, I have tried to live like It
didn't happen but that didn't work. I have tried to brace it like a man
and move past it, that too didn't work. We have had several talks about
it hoping it will heal my wound but it ain't working too. I have lost my
strength to move on, my drive for success and happiness is
dead. I roam aimlessly now most times not having a clear vision cos my
mind is messed up. Several times I narrowly escaped ramming into a car
ahead of me. I look at women now with disdain (my apologies) and
infidelity boldly carved on their foreheads.
What got me all
messed up like this? I found out my wife was having an affair with her
senior colleague in the office who also doubles as a family friend. How
did I get to know, I stumbled into an amorous email exchange between
them when I wanted to help her apply for a job which has a better
prospect than where she was then. It was the subject of the mail that
excited my curiosity. The subject says "Ifemi" which in Yoruba means "My
Love". What is more disturbing is that they were having unprotected sex
while my baby was still bosom feeding (no wonder my smart girl stopped
suckling at 5 months). Our marriage will be 4 years in a couple of
months time and is blessed with an adorable daughter. They both claimed
it was a mistake. While I am battling to believe them, it will be of
interest to note that, they didn't go to bed just once which nullifies
the claim of it being a mistake. And it will be foolhardy for anyone to
believe that. One cannot make a mistake twice. The second time usually
is a choice that is dully premeditated.
I am barely sticking what
is left of the marriage just because of my little girl. She will be 2
in no distant time. Separation and divorce is my only option now since
every other option has left me worse off. I have lost so much weight in
these few months. I also want to state here that I have never cheated on
my wife before. I keep asking myself what will push me to cheat because
sincerely, my wife has it all; beauty and brains. Like the few people
both male and female will say when they see her picture either on my
phone or ipad "Guy, you carry eye enter wife market".
One
question I want answers to now is: our court marriage did not happen
here in Lagos, can I file for dissolution of the union here in Lagos?
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